I’m going to put it out there and say I, like most people, have mixed feelings for social media. I love it because of this job really – I read and post blogs, updates, photos and tweets every single day and, mostly, it’s all good. Mainly because I follow nice people and it’s thankfully only occasionally that a rogue one pops up out of the shadows and ruins it not only for everyone else but for themselves. (Ahh, I was wondering how old I’d get before I could use that phrase….)
I’m a big fan of the Timehop app, the one which usually embarrasses you with a daily reminder of the utter rubbish you’ve posted on social media over the past God knows how long. Each morning, usually accompanied by the first of my many cups of coffee, I take a look at the let’s say diverse statuses that have streamed from my consciousness over the last ten years and amuse myself with the random blurb that emerged from my brain during that time.
With that in mind I have decided to share my embarrassment and feel we should discuss a few that have popped up recently. Don’t judge me……
- The one from ten years ago which my current self is frankly ashamed of.
I have no words. I mean, firstly, I do not remember doing this and secondly, what was I thinking?? The “giving up” plan evidently didn’t work as we all know….. And, more to the point a blog called “Skinny Jeans and a nice glass of squash” just doesn’t work for me. Next!
2. The one from eight years ago where my current self thinks my past self was an idiot.
Where do I start? This was pre-kids and it’s blatantly obvious that I just Did Not Realise How Much Fun I Could Have Before Having Kids. Going out at a seconds notice? Do it. Lie-ins until lunchtime? Crack on. Spending the entire time after you finish work watching what the hell you want on TV? Here’s the remote. Current Self is bitter. Current self would love to do any of these things…….
3. The one from six years ago that makes my current self very proud.
When I was pregnant I made a wonderful discovery and found something I had previously dismissed as disgusting. Marmite. (Controversial hey, I know many will be reading this either thinking “Ewwww” or “Yum.”) I would eat spoonfuls of the stuff out of the jar without even wincing. Six years ago I was the proud owner of a five month old baby and the Marmite love was definitely still there. My sodium levels must have been pretty high after eating this particular delicacy but I have to say, I am still very much a Marmite lover. Now where’s that jar………
4. The one from five years ago where I got yet another parking ticket to add to my already extensive collection.
Long and very boring story short – I appealed, they let me off. I learnt my lesson to stop posting boring stuff on Facebook. Oh wait…
5. The one from four years ago when I couldn’t be more boring or more British. Yes, I mentioned the weather.
Can’t see the issue here. Yes, the weather may have been vile but hey, I was having a night out so surely that’s got to be a good thing?? Memo to past self – make your statuses more interesting. Ooh, and straight in at number 6 we have……..!
6. The one from four years ago when I was convinced my house was been invaded.
Answer – we still don’t know. It only happened late at night, just to make it even scarier and there was a lot of scratching and thumping going on. I haven’t seen a Milk Tray ad for quite a while though so you never know……
7. The one from two years ago where I made rash promises.
I should point out that I hadn’t moved years and years before this and was only just getting round to emptying boxes of stuff I forgot I even owned, we had moved just a month previously so I’m pretty impressed how organised I was to be fair. The moving thing though? Hmm, two years on and I shall never say never – I still have my little daydream of living in a house overlooking a beautiful beach somewhere while I type up that bestselling novel after all.
These days, without even realising, I seem to post on Facebook as I would on Instagram – generally a short status accompanied by a photo. While I’m glad the days of writing about myself in the third person seem to be behind us (just me or did everyone do this in the early days of Facebook??) I will try my best to make my statuses a little more interesting in future. Can’t make any absolute promises however…..