Whenever I post a blog I get all excited thinking I’m going to churn out a load of abso-blinkin-lutely brilliant content on a near daily basis and then the block kicks in. The brain block, the numb bit where you think of stuff to write and then think “nah, that’ll be rubbish” and start looking at YouTube videos and lose literally hours of your supposed brilliantly awesome genius writing life.
The life where I plan to write my book. Ah yes, “the book”. The one I have literally dreamt of writing for the best part of perhaps five but pretty sure it’s a good ten if not fifteen years now. The book that changes from being a children’s book (less words, plenty more pictures, appeals to the impatient side of me) to a full blown novel which is surely going to sell loads of copies and will be amazing. I will swan into Waterstones and see my book on the shelf and feel a huge sense of accomplishment and pride, take my little boy with me and exclaim “look what clever Mummy did!”
In reality I spend a lot of my time flitting from one idea to the next. I get crazy and admittedly brilliant ideas from my five year old who has the best type of imagination – one that has absolutely no filter, nothing is too crazy or off limits. The type of five year old imagination I would like to have for if only a couple of hours, though I would probably manage to flit out of that and into “lets play with a dinosaur that is also a footballer and a rock star instead. Ooh look, cake!”
I have flashes of inspiration whilst walking the dog and compose practically a whole chapter in my head and smile all the way back to the front door. By the time I’ve hung up the dog lead and handed out a fish shaped biscuit (off topic but why the heck do Winalot make their dog biscuits in the shapes of houses, fish and love hearts???) then, probably like you reading this now, I will have totally lost the plot, my mind will be blank and has moved on to the next important, (or more likely not so) random thought.
I come up with blog post ideas that I think are bloody marvellous and then to start to worry whether anyone would even read them let alone like them or the real biggie – the self doubters absolute fave – what people might think. But then, I start clicking the keys and things somehow fall into place. Better still, the self doubt disappears, and the utterly brilliant therapy that a keyboard and the slightly warped inner workings of my mind create.
Recently I was told by two separate friends, who I don’t see very often, how they’d read these inane ramblings that I like to try to class as a blog and they liked them. They liked them! This completely fuelled my fire for wanting to write more but also gave me a much needed kick up the proverbial and made me think. Maybe I should try and give this a proper go. Give it a chance maybe, ignore the little nugget of self doubt that kicks in occasionally and embrace the hell out of this tapping away on a keyboard. Oh and maybe I should take a notepad out with me incase those flashes of inspiration pop up on random dog walks. And stop wondering why biscuits are shaped as they are. (Seriously though I can’t be the first person to think that??)
And then maybe the writers block might clear a little?